Coming of Age

Cultural expressions of growing up make for depressing reading. Our stories - laid out in books and films - present growing up as a thing to be avoided. The consensus when it comes to coming of age seems broadly separable into two parts:

    1.    We don't want to grow up, and

    2.    Complaining that no one is listening to part one.

Peter Pan, the Pevensie children of the Chronicles of Narnia, Lyra Belaqua of His Dark Materials, and Holden Caulfield of The Catcher in the Rye: through all of these we see children embodying heroism and bravery in worlds where adults are treacherous, selfish, self-absorbed or just plain neglectful. But this seeming disdain for adulthood also gives us an insight into the qualities we cherish.

The Pevensie children find in Narnia an escape from the horror of war and the fear of their exile amongst strangers. Lyra Belaqua wants nothing more than to be left running wild around her Oxford, where she is free from the proud, lying, kidnapping, murderous adults. And Peter Pan, the boy who never grew up, hates grown-ups more than anything else:

'…he was so full of wrath against grown-ups, who, as usual, were spoiling everything, that as soon as he got inside his tree he breathed intentionally quick short breaths at the rate of about five to a second. He did this because there is a saying in the Neverland that, every time you breathe, a grown-up dies; and Peter was killing them off vindictively as fast as possible'

When we look at how our art depicts grown ups, it's not hard to to see why.

Peter's own main adversaries are Hook and his pirates, who are shown to be greedy, violent and vicious. Peter himself, in the film Hook, grows up into a middle-aged mediocrity - whose relationship with his children is on the rocks as a result of an overbearing work life.

In one of the worlds encountered in Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials series, anyone who grows up to become an adult faces the serious risk of having their souls consumed. On top of that adults are largely portrayed as prideful, cruel and narrowly ambitious which often causes difficulties for the more simplistic, and kinder, aspirations of the children.

JD Salinger's Holden Caulfield fights the most hopeless expression of this battle - trying to find a way to resist the relentless passage of time even as it drags him towards his own adulthood. Holden wrestles with the 'crushing phoniness of the adult world' in his attempts to find comfort for his fears from the people he meets. He tries to find the answers to his questions, but the world turns a deaf ear.

Opposing this view of adults, the children themselves are often shown to be heroic, and unfettered by the double standards of adult life. Lyra's curiosity, determination, and talents for lying, are qualities she shares with her parents - but she is unspoiled by their ambitions, their pride, and their willingness to exploit others or treat them as expendable in the pursuit of their goals.

The disliked grown ups in these tales all share characteristics: making peace with being under an authority, becoming an authority, not having as much time as would be liked for the things most loved, not asking too many questions; these are the antithesis of the qualities of childish innocence.

Fundamental to childish innocence is curiosity. Asking questions is at the core of what it means to be childlike. It is also absolutely imperative to living an extraordinary life. The great adventures, the great discoveries, the great inventions; these things are all the result of the relentless asking of questions and the finding of unceasing wonder at the infinite marvels of existence.

Those characteristics that are despised in grown ups are not inevitabilities, but the result of the crushing pressures of society, and authority, and orthodoxy. Slipping free of those restraints is the rediscovery of innocence. It is also the first step to living a life of purpose, reason, and adventure.

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References:
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John Green's 'Language, Voice, and Holden Caulfield: The Catcher in the Rye Part 1' and 'Holden, JD, and the Red Cap- The Catcher in the Rye Part 2'; from Crash Course Literature; 2013.